Board members play a crucial role in the smooth functioning of a condominium association, but what happens when a member's behavior turns toxic? Dealing with a board member bully can create a stressful environment for both residents and fellow board members, turning meetings into battlegrounds and driving away valuable volunteers.
Let’s look at a few strategies for handling this challenging situation:
A good place to start is in trying to understand the bully. Bullies often operate from a place of insecurity. Their behavior, whether it's through intimidation, constant criticism, or manipulation, is a way to seize control when they feel they lack it. Some ‘identities’ bullies can take on a range from the "expert" who always has to be right, to the "troll" who engages in destructive behavior to undermine the board.
Bullies often operate from a place of insecurity. Their behavior, whether it's through intimidation, constant criticism, or manipulation, is a way to seize control when they feel they lack it. Some ‘identities’ bullies can take on a range from the "expert" who always has to be right, to the "troll" who engages in destructive behavior to undermine the board. Ignoring the problematic behaviors will only make them worse. The most effective approach is a combination of direct confrontation and establishing clear, structured procedures.
- Confront the Behavior, Not the Person: When addressing the bully, focus on their specific actions. For example, instead of saying, "You are a bully," say, "When you interrupt other members, it prevents us from having a productive discussion." This criticizes the behavior, making it more difficult to dismiss.
- Establish a Code of Conduct: A formal code of conduct for board members can set clear expectations for behavior, civility, and respect. Training on board responsibilities can also help reinforce these standards. Here is a sample code of conduct.
- Run Structured Meetings: Use parliamentary procedure to keep discussions on track. A clear agenda, with set start and end times, limits opportunities for a bully to hijack the conversation. The board chair should actively manage the meeting, ensuring everyone gets a chance to speak and addressing all communication directly to the chair.
If a bully's behavior persists, it may be necessary to explore options for their removal. Your association's bylaws should outline the procedures for removing a board member. While a difficult and last-resort measure, it may be essential for the health of the association.
By being proactive, setting clear boundaries, and utilizing formal procedures, condo associations can effectively manage and mitigate the negative impact of a board member bully, ensuring a more harmonious and productive environment for everyone.
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